2017 - all about recovery.

Dear God, please bring my heart back in peace. 



I have tried everything. I just need to know "green" or "red" light. That's all.
May Allah SWT show me. 



Dear J,

I don't know where should I start with.

I want you to believe that you are not an option. I am frankly sincere with you.
Because you are truly special.

Everyone has a story to tell, yes I do too.



As a witness

Every day is a struggle.
Believe me, real struggle.



take back.

last september.


Sacrificed for someone I don't even know. All gone wasted.

It all happened just a night before my mom passed away. 

I was heartless and broken. 

Only Allah SWT has the answer. We as human need to believe His Plan, His Arrangement, His blessings. Always believe in Him. Pray to Him.

Past is past.



بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ


24 September 2016
7:30 am

Mama telah kembali ke Rahmatullah. Pergi tidak kembali lagi.
Tepat pukul 7.00 pagi, Ayah kejut ku dari tidur untuk melihat saat saat akhir Mama.
Nafasnya, Ya Rabb. Allah saja yang tahu. Mata kirinya telah tertutup sayu kelihatan. Mama kuatkan diri untuk menghadap kiblat lalu membaca dua kalimah Syahadah. Aku terus mencium tangan dan kepala nya. Diri ku terus rebah, air mata terus membasahi pipi tanpa henti, fikiran tidak menentu. Terkedu. Tergamam. SubhanaAllah. Dua nafas terakhir Mama. Dia telah pergi. Sekelip mata Ya Allah. Sekelip mata di jemput Malaikat.  



Running with a lower pace

Peace be upon you, Salam.

Been away for so long. It feels like a second until we are here again in Holy month of Ramadan. Alhamdulillah.

On last February, Allah has given me a chance to perform an Umrah in the most Holiest city of Islam, Mecca Al Mukarramah. Syukur Alhamdulillah. I could never imagined that I was there right in front of Kaabah standing very numb and felt how small I am in this Dunya. The greatest feeling. SubhanaAllah. He is The Greatest.



Future Dilemma

Just graduated last month. Alhamdulillah.
My degree has officially certified with First Class Honours.
Few years back, I planned for something which I thought it could be real.
Just be on track and move to next phase of life, I was wrong.
Now I learn so much about how real life is. Get a job, be with family & friends
Have fun. I think my life is so complete. Nope. Still struggling to find my way
and trying to be a better Muslimah.
6 months without a proper job makes you think of something you might not do
in future. Limited time, stress, problems? Negative vibes.
I just hope that I'll continue Istiqomah in whatever I do.
Slowly, step by step. In sha Allah.


Keep yourself with Doa

Doa or prayers are like walls. When foundations (solat) are fully filled, it needs a protection shield. So called Doa. Doa for someone you loved the most. For someone you cannot be with. I wish Allah will give me one more chance to meet him...Amin.



Real friends are hard to find. They are like diamonds. We might not be together every day like we used to be but I feel like you're here with me even you're not. I hope you are doing fine.



deeply in love.

Save yourself,  I could be better. I wish I could. Everything we had together was real. Deep inside, I still do. 


Salam Readers,
I'm finally back after long-long-long time w/out any updates.
He he he.
Blogspot sudah totally lain. Jenuh cari post button -_-''



Exploration will start within 2 more days! Pray for our trip! Amin.

p/s: Will update you soon!


Teh Tarik Clan

Only if I am a business-minded...